Reverse Cultural Shock

Hello everyone,

I had been meaning to write about the reverse culture shock I am going through in Pakistan. I have been away far too long to re-adjust back into my own culture. The problem is that I have lived abroad my whole life, and I have imbibed different cultural practices into my own, and so I live my life with a hybrid of cultures. There have been so many instances here where I feel like a huge outsider and wonder how people can do things the way they are. But it was yesterday when I really got mad and realized how upsetting everything is.

My mom and I were out shopping with our driver, when suddenly a woman driver and her dad crashed into us from the left side. Since it was our right of way, that woman thought she could slip by and make her way out. But it was a screech-bang and scratch on our car's left side. Of course, our driver and that woman got into a fight as to whose fault it was. My mom and I got involved and told the woman it was her fault for not letting us go and crashing into us from behind. Of course she didn't want to admit that. It was then her dad came out, came up to my mom and told her in her face "Tell your stupid driver to drive carefully." My mom stayed quiet. She only told me later what that man said to her. I was so angry, and I told mom next time to tell me if any man talks like that to my mom. Mom didn't retaliate because we are obviously much more educated and sophisticated to stoop to that man's level and say nasty comments back to him. I was so shocked at the shameless attitude of that man, and the audacity he had to talk to my mom like that.

This is just one of many incidents whereby rage builds up in me. It brings me the question of whether I can change the system around me, or whether I have to get into the system and be like one of them.

Staring
One thing that really bothers is the way people stare at me. I don't know whether it's my skin color or my height, but people just stare at me to the point where I start feeling uncomfortable. I have decided to stare back at them, and at times ask them if I can help them with anything. Only then do they quickly turn away. Aaargh! So annoying!


Spitting Paan
Another thing that really bugs me is the way people eat this thing called paan (sweets inside green leaf) which they chew on and on, and then like vomit, spit it all out wherever it's convenient: sidewalk, passageways, walls etc. So annoying, I now tell people who do that in front of me to clean it up or make a comment to make them feel guilty.

Marriage
Everyone I come into contact with wants to marry me off. It's like someone died and made all my relatives match-makers. Everyone thinks they know me well enough to recommend girls left right center. Every one's life mission here is to marry off all the singles out there. It's a massive deal to everyone that I am 30 and if I cross into 31 then I am cursed. The same thing goes for the girls: if they cross 23/24 then they are cursed and no one will want to marry them. Living abroad, who cares about the age factor? Who cares if I marry at 30 or 31? Sadly, in Pakistan, it matters a lot what age you marry!

Weight
This may be a universal but talking about one's weight every time you meet the same people over and over again surely means people are obsessed with weight. Every single conversation has to have issues about weight. "Oh you look fat. Stop eating" or "oh you look so thin! Eat more!" are standard lines. No one is happy with the way they look nor how other look. According to them, people should either be more thin or more fat from what they are are now (even if they are at their ideal weight!)

Road Rage
Yes, traffic is bad in Dubai and Saudi, but the road rage here is incredible. It's a miracle I am still alive doing all the driving on the roads out here. You cannot drive in Lahore unless you are used to dodging other cars/ trucks/ pick up/ cycles/ motorbikes/ rickshaws (local taxis)/ donkey carts/ horse carts/ bulls/ cows/ stray dogs/ people crossing roads blindly/ manholes/ fallen trees/ ducks/ little children....and once you avoid all of the above only then can you drive in Lahore! Every one thinks they have the right of way on the roads here. I have had moments where I had to stop in the middle of the road and force the car coming directly into me on my side of the road to force him to get back into his lane. Uncle warned me to not do this because people carry guns and anyone can just shoot me.

But every time I do that I feel like I will not be able to make a change. The system is such that everyone thinks they are right. It's extremely difficult to get these people to change their ways. The only thing I can do is either start a radical movement and go on a rampage, or simply just work around my own environment and live life my own way not letting these external influences bother me.

I now understand why my sister wants to leave Pakistan. I now understand why so many I know who come from abroad are not able to settle in well here. I am here for several important reasons, but who knows, maybe I might move out from here if things continue to progress the way they are in this country.

Mansur

Happy Birthday Dad!

Hello,

It's my dad's birthday today. What do I get for someone who seems to have everything? He just got himself a new Blackberry last week, and last year I got him a laptop. He has enough colognes, and enough clothes. Chocolates and flowers will not do. I am so stuck! He has read all the latest books on politics and Islam, so I am stuck there too. Goodness, I think I will end up writing a Happy Birthday card with a personal message; haven't done that in ages. Might make a difference this birthday of his. I am thinking of writing something really personal to let him know how feel I about him. :-)

Since everyone is going to show up at our place, we decided to just go out for dinner and have everyone show up at the restaurant. I will take pictures and post them up soon.

Happy birthday dad!

Mansur

Celebrating THREE Years for Life of Mansur!

Hello friends,

Life of Mansur turned THREE years old on 20th August 2007. Yay! I know I have been somewhat inconsistent over the last couple of weeks, but I hope to continue writing on my blog. Now that I am in Lahore, Pakistan, I guess I will be more focused on what's happening in my life in Lahore. There is a lot to talk about and I will be doing so little by little.
Here are some fun statistics: On average 37 people visit my blog each day, and about 257 people visit my blog each week. I have had about 30,658 unique visitors to my blog. The top three countries from where people visit my blog is USA, Saudi Arabia and United Arab Emirates.
As for now, I am celebrating Life of Mansur's THREE years of blogging. (I know it doesn't seem much but in my mind its a long time, and honestly didn't expect to last this long!) Thanks to all who frequented my blog time and again.

Mansur

Marriage Woes...

Hello people,

Ever since I came to Lahore, I have been inundated with comments about marriage! When you will you marry? What are you waiting for? You will get too old? Look, I know this girl- she is really nice for you! It's one thing to have close family members talk to you like this, but it's another thing when distant relatives you don't even meet for ages start recommending potential wives to you in your face!

I have realized that this is a Pakistani thing. Marriage is a big deal, and with that we have different thoughts. Today's generation is vastly different from their parent's generation. Arranged marriage versus love marriage. One time meeting between couples to countless meetings. 2 months engagement to 6 months engagements.

The one annoying thing having to deal with this whole issue is the age factor. I am 30 now. In the mindset of the people here, 30 is just stretching it. If I don't get married when I am 30 then I will be too old to marry. It's like as if its a curse to marry at 31 or something. The same thing goes for girls who are crossing 21/22. Once they cross that, they are categorized into a different strata, and thus get men of a certain age. I don't know who came up with this number thing, but it's pointless. Coming from abroad, I myself don't agree with this age thing. It's not a big deal if I don't marry when I am 30. What's more important: that I marry just because I have hit 30, or I marry when I find the right girl for myself?

It's a funny situation dealing with people regarding marriage. I have learnt to take it in my stride. Let people say what they want to. They don't know me well enough to start dictating when and where and with who should I get married. :-)

Mansur

Hello friends,

I saw a bunch of movies since I came to Pakistan. Too many to give them individual posts, but will share briefly about them.

The Holiday

Pure escapism for those seeking that perfect romantic comedy. Diaz and Winslet are two lonely women living in the States and UK. They exchange their homes and lives for the xmas breaks, only to find themselves in the arms of men they start falling in love with. Cultural issues crop and we follow the lives of these two women. Will or wont they stay with the new man or move back to their home country? I loved Winslet's performance in this movie.

Little Children:

An adult movie, but handled very maturely and delicately. Two different storyline integrate at the local pool where people come with their little children for a swim. Two couple meet there and embark on an adulterous affair, with unexpected consequences, while a sex offender just out of jail is trying to get back into society, struggling with his feelings of resistance being surrounded with little children everywhere. Watch it for it's stark honest views of such relationships and how prejudicial and biased society can be towards others.

Hostel 2

Strictly for fans for Hostel 1. Hostel 2 is in the similar vein as the first part except the protagonists are all female. It's bloodier, gorier and nastier. So-so movie.

Captivity

Another movie capturing on the success of Saw. Captivity sees a fashion model being held captive by an obsessive fan. We have to endure her endless attempts at escape. boring!

Evan Almighty

Pan's Labyrinth

The Simpsons Movie

28 Weeks Later

Vacancy

1408

An Inconvenient Truth

6 Kids on a Cycle!

Hello people,


I saw this and absolutely had to take a picture. Some people car pool, these kids decide to bike pool. If you count, you can see 6 kids on one bike. I had such a riotious day after taking this picture.

Happy Independence Day to all Pakistanis!

Mansur

14th August 2007

Hello friends,

I know it's been so long since I last posted anything on my blog. So much has been happening I don't even know where to start.

For one, I have finally moved out of Dubai back to my hometown Lahore in Pakistan. It feels great to be here, and I don't miss Dubai a whole lot (except my friends!) Secondly, I started my new job, which is going good so far-- the only downside is the 1 hour commuting one way! Thirdly, I am busy with the finishing stages of the house my family is having built. It's a very exciting project for all of us, as we all have the privilege of getting to do the bedroom and bathroom our own way!

Tomorrow is a public holiday. 14th August 2007 will make Pakistan 60 years old. I am not doing anything because I don't see a reason to celebrate. The state of Pakistan is in a pathetic state with all the politics and dirty games being played by the politicians. The common man is still suffering out there while the rich are living a lifestyle of wealth and luxury. It's sad to see such a massive contrast between the poor and the rich.

Happy Independence day to Pakistanis all over. As for me, I am having a bunch of relatives/ friends come over to my apartment to hang out/ watch movie/ have dinner. I am thinking maybe I should cook something. :-)

Cheers you all, and I hope to start blogging more regularly now.


Mansour