Am I Finally Home?

Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Just after Juma Prayer.

Officer Abdulla leads me out of my prison into the scorching July heat of Saudi Arabia. Walking at a snail's pace towards the never ending stretch of a path towards the temporary stage set up for the event. I want this moment to end immediately. 

"Wait here. They will do other man first." He spoke in an accent that only another Arab would comprehend.  All I can do is wait patiently, and hear the noises around me. I can only imagine everything that is happening up there on the platform.

Where is he? I need to see him!

A man grabs hold of a microphone and starts speaking to the crowds. It is Officer Abdulla. Everything is in Arabic, so I am not sure what he is saying. The man who is being led up to the galley is sobbing louder now. I can hear him despite the loud noise from the hustle and bustle emanating from the crowds. I have no idea what is happening to him, but it makes me nervous. What's taking so long? Why isn’t it over with yet? The man's sobbing dies down abruptly. Is he dead? I don’t know.

Officer Abdulla speaks into the microphone, and then starts shouting out Allah u Akbar, and gets the crowd to participate too. Allah u Akbar! Allah is Great!

It becomes louder, leading to a crescendo. I can see the women in the crowds too, covered in abayas, cheering and chanting. Little beggar children are at the front most; this has become a weekly entertainment ritual for them. Some men are standing there in silence, others are screaming out loud. The expatriates are reminded heavily of repercussions of crimes committed in the Kingdom.

The cheers and chants builds up, leading to a crescendo! It feels like I am in a large open air theater where the actors on stage receive a standing ovation. I see a sword being risen up, and the sun reflects off it onto my face for a second or so. The man is holding the sword with both hands, and takes a deep breath in. The crowds go silent abruptly. The sword has come down. The head is quickly wrapped up in a black bag and the dead body is shoved onto a stretcher like a rag cloth to be taken away.

"Yallah (Come on!)! Bring him!" shouts the guy on stage.

Where are you? I so need to see you my friend! I need comfort!

Officer Abdulla grabs my arm and pushes me to the center of the stage. I start shaking a little. In fact I start shaking a lot now. I am so nervous and scared. I don't want to go through the whole thing now.

"Don't Be Afraid!" was all I can tell myself over and over now. My prison mate would say that to me: Don’t be afraid.I tell that to myself over and over: do not be afraid!

I am asked to stop shaking so much. My hands are loosened. Someone holds my wrist and brings my right arm to the front. He folds my sleeves up. In a split second, I feel something jab into my forearm. What was that? The effect of whatever is jabbed into my arm starts to take place and I feel a little drowsy.

I begin to lose my senses now. I am not aware where I am. My body feels numb. I am being held by two men now from both sides, and brought down to my knees. My hands are tied back again. I see the entire crowd in front of me. There must be 100s of people out there, with a little traffic of cars behind them at a standstill. I see Officer Abdulla standing on my far right side. The executioner is standing immediately to my right side. I see the sword placed next to him. It is spotless and shining ever so brightly. The cloth he used to wipe up the blood from the previous execution is next to the sword. Officer Abdulla is speaking into the microphone. He is probably telling them what my crime is and why I am being executed. I don't care much now. My shivering has stopped. The drug has taken its effect.

I start murmuring in my heart,ya Allah, ya Allah,please save me.

Officer Abdulla comes up to me with his speaker. Facing the crowd he asks me:

“Mahmoud, this is last chance for you to say something.” I decide not to. I stay shut and start calling out the name of my friend. Where are you when I need you the most? 

Miraculously, I see a man standing right in front of me. He isn't in his prison clothes any longer. He is wearing a white robe now. He has his arms outstretched as if he is welcoming me. I give a massive smile, although I am a little confused as to what he is doing there in his white robe. Are you really there my friend? Is that really you? As long as you are there, I am comforted.

I think I may be hallucinating, but I really did see my friend standing there. He really did whisper to me to not be afraid. How I wish I could believe him.  

My shoulders are resting on a wooden plank now. My head is hanging beyond the wooden plank. "Allah u Akbar," shouts Officer Abdulla. The crowd starts again. They all shout Allah u Akbar over and over.

With that, the sword comes down so fast; I don't realize how quickly it would all be over with. I thought I would feel the pain of the sword slicing through my neck, but I guess the drug was quite strong. I didn’t feel anything. Infact, everything was over in a split second.

Am I finally home?