Adoption?

Hello all,

The recent earthquake in Pakistan has created a situation where there are 100s of little babies and children whose parents have been killed. Although these babies are too young to comprehend the full extent of the destruction of things around them, they are indeed parent-less. Because of this situation developing, adoption has been on the increase. There are talks of babies and infants being adopted by families. That is a very good thing, because right now in the rehabilitation phase, the survivors need all the love and care they can get. They need to know that people are thinking about them and are genuinely concerned for them.

I got into a debate recently with a friend, who was saying he would never adopt any kids. He argued that if he could have his own kids biologically he would not see the need to adopt kids at all.

“Only those who cannot have children should adopt,” he told me.
“But don’t you see you the humanitarian gesture in adopting children? Don’t you see this an amazing chance to help a child out?” I asked him.
“yeah, that’s right in its own place, but I would rather have my own kids, and anyways, I can always give donations and charity to support the kids.”

Unfortunately his attitude is not an uncommon one. While there are many who jump at the opportunity to adopt a kid, there are equally as many out there who would choose not to. Adoption can be a very personal and emotional issue for the kids when they grow up. I know a family in Jeddah who have an adopted daughter. I don’t know if the daughter knows she is adopted or not, but I cannot imagine what would go through her mind when she is told she is not the parents’ biological child but an adopted one.

What would she feel? Would she feel she is not connected to her parents? Would she feel distanced knowing she is not their real offspring? Would she have a desire to find out if her real parents are still alive? Would she wonder if she has any brothers or sisters out there? This and many other questions would be at the forefront of an adopted child. But then, should an adopted be told anything at all? When is the right age?

I personally myself have already told my parents that I will adopt children. My parents were a bit hesitant about it, but I am determined to adopt a child when I am married—(the whole thing also depends on what my wife’s viewpoint will be on adoption) but having said that, I have a deep desire to adopt a child. I want to give a parent-less child out there an opportunity to have a better life than the one he/she may be leading in an orphanage.

Mansur