Hello people,
Ever since I came to Lahore, I have been inundated with comments about marriage! When you will you marry? What are you waiting for? You will get too old? Look, I know this girl- she is really nice for you! It's one thing to have close family members talk to you like this, but it's another thing when distant relatives you don't even meet for ages start recommending potential wives to you in your face!
I have realized that this is a Pakistani thing. Marriage is a big deal, and with that we have different thoughts. Today's generation is vastly different from their parent's generation. Arranged marriage versus love marriage. One time meeting between couples to countless meetings. 2 months engagement to 6 months engagements.
The one annoying thing having to deal with this whole issue is the age factor. I am 30 now. In the mindset of the people here, 30 is just stretching it. If I don't get married when I am 30 then I will be too old to marry. It's like as if its a curse to marry at 31 or something. The same thing goes for girls who are crossing 21/22. Once they cross that, they are categorized into a different strata, and thus get men of a certain age. I don't know who came up with this number thing, but it's pointless. Coming from abroad, I myself don't agree with this age thing. It's not a big deal if I don't marry when I am 30. What's more important: that I marry just because I have hit 30, or I marry when I find the right girl for myself?
It's a funny situation dealing with people regarding marriage. I have learnt to take it in my stride. Let people say what they want to. They don't know me well enough to start dictating when and where and with who should I get married. :-)
Mansur
3 comments:
Assalamwalikum,
Hope is all well with you. I have been reading your blog and think you to be a sincere person and I don't intend to offend you so I apologize if I do but I get the impression that you are gay. I was going to email this but couldnt find your contact...apologies in advance if i offended you
btw i am looking to shift to dubai from US for work and your original dubai posts made me frequent your blog
allah hafiz
Thanks for your honesty. Sadly, your comment is another thing that people suspect of singles here in Pakistan. The reason why they arent married by the age of 30 is that they are gay. Thats far from the truth. I want to get married, and I want to have a wife, and I want to have a family BUT I want to marry the right girl, and marry for the right reason. I don't want to marry just because I am 30. I honestly don't care what the spciety here has to think. They don't know me, nor will they know me well enough without making an effort to talk to me.
It's something in the blood of the Pakistanis to talk about marriage and act as if they are God's gifts to the world of match-making. lol.
My email address is mansourahsan@gmail.com
See ya there..
Mansur.
PS To clear any doubts, I am not gay. If you read some of my earlier posts, I have expressed disgust at being approached by, fondled by and asked by gay men in Dubai for sex. With all respect to the gays, I am not into that kind of thing.
Hi mansur,
read the anonymous comment and that has got to be the silliest thing I heave heard. Like you talk about in your post, clearly there is a gap between the way the new generation thinks and how the old generation thinks. Just because a guy is single, doesn't make him a gay. There are loads of single people out there..and there are gay men who are married. Nowadays there men who are known as metrosexual, which is different from being gay. Stick to your guns, and don't let words offend you at all.
Ayesha
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