The One with the Dead Cat

Dear Friends,

first off, I am sure you must have noticed that I am giving my blogs titles, a la Friends. I simply loved the way the Friends series were given titles beginning with: "The One With The....!" I adopted the same idea for I am pretty much sure the makers of Friends series don't have the copyright on "The One With The...!"

My dad and I were going to the hospital tonight to see a work colleague who unfortunately collapsed and ended up in a coma at the hospital. He suffered brain hemorrhage. My dad and I were talking about the patient, and various talk of death and survival were discussed. What will happen when he comes out the coma? Will he be normal again? Will he even survive?

As I was driving-- by the way, since I got my license, I am driving a lot in the Nissan Infiniti Q45 :) -- I glanced at the odometer. I was going at 60 kph. Dad said something, and I turned around to look at him because he said something shocking. The second I turned around to face him, dad screamed out loud. His scream was something I had not heard for as long as I can remember.

There was a car behind me. There was a car on my right side. There was a pavement on my left side. I had no where to go and I had no option to slow down. All I could see in front of me was this helpless white cat, all confused, stuck in the middle of the road, not knowing whether to cross the road or not.

My initial reaction was to slam on the brakes hard. That was a not a smart idea since I was at 60kph and there was traffic behind me. I could not change lanes since there was a car on my right. All I could then do was go straight, hoping the cat would stay right in the middle so I could pass over her. But the cat thought otherwise. She decided to cross the road.

Under the left side of the car, we felt two big bumps, as if we just crossed over two large speed bumps. I could sense that I must have pinned the cat down to the road with the first tyre, and with the second one, crushed her to death, skulls and bones in its entirety.

Speaking of death, I just killed a cat.

In my seven years of driving, I had always been so careful and meticulous in my driving, never even hitting anything minor. Here I am, having just killed a cat. What am I supposed to feel? Remorse? Guilty? What if that cat were some helpless little child running after some football which accidentally came onto the road?

Ultimately, I consoled myself. Had I hit the brakes, the car behind me would have hit us and in the process injure human lives. I did not want that.

I cannot imagine how guilty I felt after killing that cat. I cannot even imagine what those people who kill other people, be it in war, personal reasons, vengeance, revenge or for joy.

May that dead cat's soul rest in peace.

Signing off not so guiltily anymore,

Mansur