Who's To Blame?

Hi friends,

A kids flies off a balcony because he thinks he can fly like Superman! Two kids gun down kids and teacher at a school because they think violence is the answer to their problems! Another two kids burn down a house because Beavis and Butthead from MTV did it! Kids have pre-martial sex because they see Jack and Rose do it in Titanic! Several kids are caught dabbling with witchcraft because Harry Potter does it!

Who is to blame?

One fine evening, over the course of dinner, I got into an argument with a friend who argued that kids watching Titanic would likely emulate the actors on screen and have sex before marriage. I argued that kids today are smarter and not that gullible. The friend was being assertive and she said that I am being naïve and that young kids today, even teenagers, will experiment with sex as a result of being influenced by the movie. I replied to her "I have seen the movie. Do you honestly think I will go pick up the next girl and have sex with her?”

The argument moved onto how violent cartoons and television have become, and how kids are being desensitized and encouraged to be violent in their behavior. She even claimed that Tom and Jerry are violent cartoons and kids should not be shown that at all. I told her that I grew up watching Tom and Jerry, and I am not violent.

Just two days ago, Harry Potter was released, and there are certain groups of people who object to Harry Potter, because they believe it conflicts with their religious beliefs. They argue that kids will indulge in black magic, wizardry and witchcraft as a result of the book. Will kids indulge in such a thing that easily? I don’t think so. Don’t these parents think it is their role to explain to them about the book and the dangers of witchcraft? Shouldn’t these parents keep an open channel with their kids should they have any concerns with the stuff in the book? I am thankful to Harry Potter for one thing that it has encouraged kids to read again. (In this day and age, when every kids wants to spend time in front of the computer or tv, it is rare to see a kid read a book outside of the classroom.)

For some parents, it is easier to blame the media, cartoons, books, Hollywood, video games for corrupting the nature of their children. It’s funny how these parents don’t take the credit for the way their kids behave. There may be loads more of cases out there like the ones I have mentioned at the beginning, and everyone is quick to blame the videos, movies and music. That’s the easy way out and shift the blame.

No one questions the parents. Where were the parents? Were the parents actively involved in their kids’ lives? Were they monitoring whom the kids are hanging out with? Are they keeping a check on where their kids are spending their money? Do the parents provide the kind of atmosphere they should at home? Do the parents depend on the nanny to teach the kids lessons? I am not suggesting that every parent interferes in their kids lives, but at least keep a check on them frequently. It is the role of the parents to monitor what the kids do in their growing ages; to keep a check on what programs they are watching, what materials they are reading, what games they are playing, what their friends are like and so on. (How they should do this calls for another article).

I truly don’t believe that it is merely the movies, music and books only that would encourage the children to act violently. Other factors come into play as well, most importantly the role of the parents. I grew up in a house where my bedtime was 8pm. My elder brother and I were not allowed to watch TV during the week, only on weekend mornings. Sometimes we were allowed to watch one program during a weekday. We never watched Indian movies; only English ones.

It is the way that my parents brought me up that I am the way I am, and I am proud of that!

Mansur