Zara: My Silent Hero

Dear friends,

I had a really comforting and inspiring dream last night. In the dream I could see myself (no, its not about Astral Projection) standing before someone who was hidden behind a huge rock. I could not see who that someone was but I could feel the presence. It was someone who was so much more powerful than I was. I could see myself get down on my knees and saying stuff that I had been saying for as long as I can remember.

When will my hearing be cured? There are miracles, right? So when will a miracle occur to me? Why did I have to go through all that I did in school? Why did I have to face so much agony and torment? Why did I have to be ridiculed so much? Don’t I have an ounce of goodness in me? Am I really that bad of a person that I get inflicted with a curse like hearing loss? Why do bad things happen to good people?

That was all I could see in my dream: me asking that someone endless questions. I demanded answers but I did not get any. Suddenly, when I least expected it, I heard a voice (a very soothing and calm voice) say to me: “Look around you. You have friends who have worse sufferings than you do.” Then, I heard my dad say to me: “Mansur, people have difficulties and problems. ‘Everyone has them. There is no one who is free of any problems in life.” I remember when he had said this to me earlier when I told him about my friend, who I shall call Zara.

Zara is unable to have children. She has had made three attempts at IV, but all three times it was unsuccessful. She is someone I know from school, and while we were mere teenagers in school, none of us anticipated the problems we would encounter as adults. Although I was aware that Zara could not have kids, it was something that she revealed to me two months ago that made me emotional. She said that she had to have children otherwise she will develop some kind of disease which could be life threatening. The minute she said those words to me, I had tears rolling down my face. Zara, a friend who I know for so long, is in such a position where her life is threatened. Why did she have to go through this?

Zara has shared with me how people can be so tactless and rude with her. Sometimes these people can be innocent, but it alwaysh hurts her. She doesn't like being asked time and again on why she doesnt have kids. She doesnt like being asked about her sudden weigh gain because of her health condition. She is always hurt inside, but she won't show it on the outside. I can relate to Zara because I also don't like being asked the same questions again and again about my hearing aids and so on.

I guess what I am getting to is that while some of us may feel that we are being mis-treated, or mis-judged, we can only look to others who are going through much worse than us, and realize that we are not all that bad. The golden saying: count your blessings, can not be more truer.

People like Zara are what I would call silent heroes. They are suffering from conditions that an average human being doesn’t. They have to make the extra effort to deal with the conditions they have, be it hearing loss or not having kids, and still put on a good face. It takes effort, and I know that because I make the effort to portray myself to people as someone who is like them, and not like someone who has a deficiency. I remember one time back in 1997, when I was working at an advertising firm. One month later, my boss asked me about the “things in my ears” and I explained to him. Immediately the next day, he stopped delegating work to me, and I merely became the “office boy.” I t became obvious, and I quit the company. I let myself lose in the situation. I was weak then. But it is such experiences that made me grow.

I want to dedicate this time to the silent heroes that we know in our lives. I want to appreciate all that they do to go the extra mile to live normal, happy lives. I want to commend them for still smiling, all the while not complaining and showing their problems to the world. I want to say that I am proud of you Zara for not being downtrodden but happy and jovial in life.

Zara, you are my silent hero! The life you live each day is an inspiration to me and makes me live my life to the fullest. Thanks.

Mansur