Do Men Cry?

Hi friends,

Having seen so many pictures of devastation in Palestine, Iraq and almost all of South East Asia, I have seen so many pictures of men crying. In the Eastern culture, it is thought that it is un-manly of men to cry in public. If they want to cry they should cry in the privacy of their own home. Men usually do not display such emotions in public, even at the graveyards. I remember when I took my grandfather to his younger brother's funeral, he never shed a tear in public, but cried when he was at home in the privacy of his bedroom.

Why is it seen as un-manly for men to cry? I think it is primarily the way the society has developed. If a man cry, he is seen as someone with a weak nature and vulnerable. So in order to be more macho, manly and strong, a man cannot cry in public. I remember growing up with cousins who would make fun of men crying in public. I remember when someone I know cried during a movie, and everyone else made fun of him because he was a guy who was crying.

Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that it is all right for men to cry in public, not as in bawling kind of crying, but shed a few tears. I dont think there is anything wrong with that. I dont think it makes a man a lesser man, or a man of weak nature if he sheds a few tears but in fact shows that men have an emotional side to them as well and are not cold, hearltess people. I have friends who have cried in a movie, of heartbreak, of losing a loved one, of failing an exam and countless other situations. I think crying is a natural reaction for a body to release its tension. If it is acceptable for men to laugh in public, why not cry?

And if you are dying to find out, yes, sometimes even I cry at some situations, like when I read about the abuses that took place in Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq, when I read personal stories of people who go through hell (eg A Child Called It), when I hear of small children dying of diseases which is of no fault of theirs, when I hear a song that brings back wonderful memories, when I fail miserably in my presentation, and when I watch a movie that touches me profoundly. Keep in mind when I say cry in public, I dont mean like crying out loud and bawling, but just shedding a few tears.

I hope all the men out there will one day feel that it is okay to shed a few tears in some situations and not pretend that they are macho or brave and have no need to display such emotions.

Do men cry? Yes.

Mansur