Epilogue FINAL WORDS

Afterword

It has been very overwhelming and surreal for me to write this short story, with many tears wept as I walked along with Rafee on his journey. I did have to omit some of the more detailed aspects of the story simply because it is horrible and sickening to be posted here. I wanted to mainly focus on what Rafee went through in his life in Jeddah, how he suffered at the hands of his perpetrators and how he eventually took a huge step to deal with his problems.

This story was not meant to make the viewers sad or depressed, but to actually inform them about this hidden disease. Also, it is important to remember that Rafee’s story is a successful one, so kids like Rafee do have hope in their lives. It is not the end of world for such victims. If the right help is given, abused kids can make a comeback. I wanted to share Rafee’s journey with you all to let you know that sexual abuse is a problem that needs to be tackled in the Kingdom. I hope and pray that the right authorities will open their eyes, acknowledge the problem before it grabs more innocent kids and snatches away their childhood from them. If Rafee were in the UK or the US, he would have sought help from their social workers, or hospitals, or join a network of abused victims. Unfortunately, he was not able to do that here in Jeddah. He was certainly caught in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Some of us may be skeptical and in denial that sexual abuse is a widespread problem in the Kingdom. Some of us may even be in doubt about Rafee’s story. That's all right. Hibbalicious mentioned in one of the comments that Rafee is lucky his parents believed him, as some parents would not be willing believe. These kinds of stories are often met with skepticism and doubt. It is after a while that a story is repeated enough times, each time as accurately as it can be that people will start to believe it. We would want in our hearts to believe that this is a minor problem and only a few odd cases happen here and there. That is a very natural reaction. No one wants to see such a thing in his or her country. Even I don't want to see it here. However, the truth is that sexual abuse takes place in every community, every society, every nation, and every continent. It would be naïve of us to assume it doesn’t exist in the Kingdom. Sexual abuse knows no boundaries. The numbers may seem small here than they do in the US, and that's because most cases are not reported here, which is why there are no accurate figures.

Just a small thought: If in the 80s, kids like Rafee were being abused, what chances are there today in2005 that the number of abuses has raised?

Having said that, positive things have been happening in the Kingdom. I was glad to read about a conference that was held in Jeddah in 2004, whereby doctors and social workers discussed about sexual abuse in the Kingdom. These brave individuals were acknowledging a problem existed and sought to rectify it.
> Rafee shared with me his sessions with the counselor, who had revealed to Rafee that she handles roughly 100 such cases each week.
> A recent study conducted reported that 23% of children are abused in the Kingdom, of which less that 5% are Saudis. It is sad that majority of the cases go unreported.
> Another small article was written back in 2000 highlighting the situation.
> A report from Khamis Mushayt, detailing three case studies of sexual abuse in the Kingdom.

I cannot bear to think the suffering and tensions such kids will have to endure by staying silent. No victim of abuse will be able to successfully repress his/ her trauma, and it will comeback to the surface one-day. Hopefully it will not be too late then.

Some people have emailed asking me if I am willing to listen to their story. A friend confessed to me she was abused in Jeddah. Another friend has told me he went through the same periods of abuse with his driver. Yet a third friend wrote to me telling me he wants to share something personal, confidential and disturbing which he hasn’t done so yet. I am glad these people have made it known to me, because I want them to know that they are not alone in their suffering and that my view of them doesn’t change just because they went through the same thing. If anything, I want to inform others about this disease, and toward the people about the Abduls and Mr. Khalids roaming out there, preying on children.

If there is one thing we all can take out from this story, it is to acknowledge that sexual abuse (and I'm not even getting into verbal, psychological, emotional, physical abuse) does exist in this country, and something needs to be done about it. Also, to know that kids like Rafee can be healed and it is not the end of their world. If you know someone, please help him or her before it's too late.

Please be more cautious as you leave your children alone with your maids and drivers. Please keep a watch out for situations, which could develop into potentially dangerous ones. Please keep your eyes on your children in public places. Please keep an open channel of communication between yourself and your children. Please be supportive. Please believe their story, just as I believed in Rafee’s story.

Rafee wants to thank you all for reading his story. I want to thank you, my readers, for reading the story, leaving comments and to those who have opened up to me, thank you.

Today, as I write this, Rafee is doing miles better.

A Shattered Life his life may be, but he is picking up the pieces as he walks along the path to healing and recovery, while shedding away his former self, to blossom into a new Rafee.

With much love, Mansur